I never thought I’d be writing this, but I need to get it off my chest because I genuinely don’t know if I’m losing my mind or if what I discovered is as insane as it seems. Three days ago, I found out my sister has been pretending to be me online for the past three years. Not catfishing. Not using my photos occasionally. Full-on identity theft of my entire personality, my life, my accomplishments—everything.
I’m 28F, and my sister “Maya” is 25F. We’ve always had a complicated relationship. Growing up, she was the outgoing one, the popular one, while I was more introverted and focused on my career. I work in marketing for a tech company, and I’ve done pretty well for myself. Maya struggled more—she dropped out of college, bounced between jobs, and has always seemed a bit lost.
Here’s where it gets weird. About three years ago, I noticed Maya started dressing more like me. At first, I thought it was sweet—maybe she was finding her style, and we happened to like similar things. Then she got the same haircut. Then she started using phrases I use. My mom said I was being paranoid and that imitation was flattery.
Fast forward to last week. I was at a professional networking event in Boston (I live in Seattle). A woman approached me, super friendly, talking about how great it was to finally meet me in person. She mentioned our “conversations” about graphic design projects and how helpful my advice had been. The problem? I don’t do graphic design, and I’d never spoken to this woman before in my life.
I smiled and nodded, but inside I was freaking out. After she walked away, I did what any normal person would do—I went full detective mode. I asked her casually which platform we’d connected on. She said Instagram and gave me a username. My stomach dropped. It wasn’t my Instagram handle.
That night, I went home and searched for the account. And there it was. An Instagram account with over 15,000 followers, using a variation of my name: instead of my real handle @SarahJenkins_Marketing, it was @SarahJenkins.Marketing (with a period). The profile picture was me—or at least a photo of me that I’d posted two years ago. But the content? It wasn’t mine.
The bio read: “Freelance Graphic Designer | Seattle Native | Coffee Addict | Living My Best Life.” I’m not a graphic designer. I don’t even drink coffee regularly. But Maya does both.
I started scrolling through the posts, and my blood ran cold. There were photos of me—real photos from my actual Instagram and Facebook—but the captions were all wrong. Pictures from my college graduation were captioned with stories about “her” design school experience. A photo of me at my company’s annual conference was described as a freelance client meeting. My vacation photos to Iceland were there, but the stories accompanying them were completely fabricated.
But here’s the really creepy part: mixed in with my photos were photos of Maya. In some posts, she’d clearly photoshopped her face onto my body. In others, she’d used photos of herself but from angles or with filters that made her look more like me. And the comments—hundreds of them—from real people who thought they were following me.
I felt sick. I kept scrolling. Posts about “her” relationships, “her” career struggles, “her” mental health journey. All written in first person. All pretending to be me. She’d even posted about “our” family—our parents, our childhood—but twisted the stories to make herself look better and me look worse.
Then I found the LinkedIn profile. Same fake name variation, same stolen photos, but this one listed MY actual work experience and education. She was using my resume, my career accomplishments, my degrees. She had connections with people from my industry, people who thought they were networking with me.
I couldn’t breathe. I called my best friend, and she helped me dig deeper. We found a Twitter account, a TikTok, even a professional portfolio website. All pretending to be me. All created and maintained by Maya.
The TikTok was particularly disturbing because it had videos. Maya had used deepfake-style filters and editing to make herself look like me, giving “advice” on design and career development. The videos had thousands of views. People in the comments were thanking “me” for the inspiration.
I confronted her the next morning. I drove to her apartment unannounced and showed her everything I’d found on my phone. At first, she denied it. Then she got defensive. Then she broke down crying, saying she “didn’t think it would be a big deal” and that she “just wanted to feel successful for once.”
She told me it started small—she’d created the Instagram account after I got promoted at work and she got fired from her retail job. She said she was depressed and just wanted to “try on” a different life. She claimed she never meant for it to get so big, that she was going to delete it eventually, but then people started following her and it felt good to be someone people admired.
I asked about the LinkedIn profile, the fake credentials, the stolen work history. She admitted she’d been using it to apply for jobs. Jobs in MY field, using MY experience. She said she’d gotten a few interviews but never got hired because she “couldn’t back it up in person.”
I told her this was identity theft, that what she’d done was illegal, that she’d damaged my professional reputation. She kept crying and apologizing, saying she’d delete everything immediately. But here’s what really got me—she said, “You have everything, Sarah. I just wanted a piece of what you have. Is that so wrong?”
I left without another word. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Since then, I’ve been trying to clean up the mess. I’ve reported every account I can find. Instagram has been somewhat responsive, but the process is slow. LinkedIn suspended the fake profile, thank God. But the damage is done. I’ve had to reach out to professional contacts explaining the situation, which has been humiliating. Some people think I’m lying or trying to cover up something embarrassing I posted.
The worst part? My family is divided. My mom thinks I’m overreacting and that Maya “made a mistake.” She says I should forgive her because “family is family.” My dad is horrified but wants us to “work it out privately” without involving lawyers or authorities. My younger brother thinks I should press charges.
I’m torn. Part of me wants to report her to the police. What she did was crime—identity theft, fraud, potentially defamation. She could have ruined my career. She could still be ruining it with accounts I haven’t found yet. But she’s my sister. We grew up together. I remember when we were kids and she’d follow me around because she looked up to me. Is this just a twisted version of that?
I also feel guilty, which is crazy, right? She said I “have everything” and maybe she’s not wrong. I got the good grades, the stable career, the financial security. Maybe I wasn’t there for her enough when she was struggling. Maybe if I’d paid more attention, she wouldn’t have felt the need to literally steal my identity.
But then I remember those fake TikToks, her face morphed to look like mine, giving advice to thousands of people. I remember the LinkedIn profile claiming my work experience as hers. I remember the woman at the networking event who thought she knew me. And I get angry all over again.
I’ve been checking obsessively for new accounts. I’ve set up Google alerts for my name. I’ve changed my privacy settings on everything. I barely sleep because I’m worried about what else might be out there. What if she made a dating profile as me? What if she’s been doing this for longer than three years? What if there are accounts I’ll never find?
My therapist says I need to set firm boundaries and possibly pursue legal action to protect myself. My best friend agrees. But every time I think about actually going to the police or getting a restraining order, I see Maya’s face when we were kids, when she’d braid my hair or when we’d stay up late talking about our dreams.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m angrier at her for what she did or at myself for not noticing sooner. I don’t know if I should forgive her or make sure she faces real consequences. I don’t know if our relationship can ever recover from this.
What would you do? Am I wrong to consider pressing charges against my own sister? Should I just let her delete the accounts and move on? Or is this unforgivable?
UPDATE (Edit – same day): A few hours after posting this, I got a DM from someone who saw this and recognized the situation. Apparently, Maya has been attending online networking events for graphic designers… as me. This person attended a Zoom meeting where “Sarah Jenkins” had her camera off but was actively participating in discussions about design software I’ve never used. They said “I” seemed knowledgeable and friendly. I feel like I’m going to be sick. How deep does this go?
I’m going to talk to a lawyer on Monday. I can’t keep living like this.
EDIT 2: Thank you all for the comments and support. I’m reading everything. To answer some common questions: Yes, I’ve documented everything with screenshots. Yes, I’m changing my passwords and security settings. No, my parents don’t fully understand the severity because they’re not tech-savvy. And yes, I’m seriously considering going no-contact with Maya regardless of what legal action I take.
I’ll update again once I talk to the lawyer.